Last year I stopped working on something I cared about because I was so sad but I feel better now.

I’ve finally finished porting and cracking an old edutainment game from the 90′s. Please enjoy.



(content warning for suicide, violence)

here’s the NFO if you need to get past any shareware shit




  1. b says:

    Love this…. The tonal shifts between satire and pathos are really deftly handled.

  2. [...] a lot more to Porpentine’s Ultra Business Tycoon III than you might think. When being introduced to it, I was told by Porpentine that she had ported and [...]

  3. !!!!! says:


  4. Christina Nordlander says:

    As excellently written as any of your games (which is saying a lot), and great fun in a nasty way. I got killed; time to go back and see if there’s a way to win this.

  5. Sergio says:

    This is really beautiful…

  6. michael b says:

    That was great!
    Thanks for making it


    Is this winnable?

  8. Theodore Fox says:

    this is so so so so so so so good.
    especially the cop.

  9. Mira says:

    while I was playing, I planned to come and write a comment saying, “I beat this game,” but the ending made me cry, so I think that you the game beat me, and that you beat me by proxy
    so, thanks!!

  10. porpentine says:


  11. [...] Ultra Business Tycoon III is Porpentine’s latest, biggest (most lines of code, at least), and perhaps most ambitious game. …read more [...]

  12. Nihilvox says:

    A specific segment of this triggered dormant childhood memories of ignoring my family and hiding from abuse in a way no other story or medium has. I am glad that someone is speaking the quiet story known to so many of us, and a specific kind at that. Well done. You speak for so many of us, Porpentine.

  13. jim says:

    Porpentine, thank you for making this.

    (At this point, I am struggling to write a second line, one that conveys tacit camaraderie and and shared pain without coming off as blubbering, presumptuous, or needy. I guess this will have to do. Maybe I’ll make a game about it with Twine.)

  14. James H says:

    Where’s the Shareware code?!?!?! It’s so fun and imaginative ! I want to continue playing!!!

  15. porpentine says:

    no problem. it’s understood

  16. porpentine says:

    Thank you for sharing your feelings about it. That means so much.

    I’m glad I was able to tell the quiet story. It’s important.

  17. Jeanne says:

    This is like the best thing; during a couple of weeks when I felt like I didn’t care about writing or drawing or “making art” generally anymore, this like made me care, and you rock

  18. porpentine says:

    yay! funny enough, it started as the cop strand which started from playing thecatamites shit, who is one of the only people who can make me feel like creating

  19. [...] should play the game now. You can find it here. It is as all her games, [...]

  20. klabelkholosh says:

    this is as fantastic as billions of bilious babies barrelling down a buttered baby bifurcator, thank you!

  21. Bertie P says:

    This was superb. Dazzling, inventive, very poignant. It made me cry. You are what video games need more than anything right now. Don’t forget that. Thank you.

  22. Richard says:

    Really enjoying this.

    Is it influenced by the Neal Stephenson novel Snow Crash by any chance?


  23. porpentine says:

    thanks. no, it isn’t

  24. Ash J says:

    Just wanted to say this was amazing and inspiring. Please keep making

  25. Stu B says:

    You’ve created something that stirs up the childhood memories that are never normally reached. The complex ones that lie beneath nostalgia. To create a game (story, poem, song) that can bring make someone reflect upon their life is a very rare gift. Congratulations, and thank you.

  26. David C says:

    This is really great. I stumbled upon this with no idea what to expect, and I’m so glad I did.

    You had me smiling a lot with the writing, and then moments later reliving the hell of my childhood with lousy violent parents and a sweet younger sister! (I have far too much in common with the “player”)
    Quite a rare experience from a game.

    Also it was a bit tricky I almost gave up a few times.
    …but I HAD to make that MILLION DOLLAR$!!

    Well done!!!


  27. Outsider says:

    I really love this game. It made me realize that my first Twine game is complete crap and that my next one needs to be so much better.
    But seriously, the style, the colors of the environments really stick in my head. Both the references and the quips in the scene with the Cop were wonderful. The meta-stuff where you talk about the avatar and the elevator cutscene really helped this game feel magical. I really related to the feeling of fantasy interrupted by reality and how the two can mix. Anyway, thanks for making this game.

  28. NickName says:


  29. [...] Porpentine’s surreal, moving (don’t ask about this adjective, just play it) mindfuck Ultra Business Tycoon II, yeah, go play that. Andrew Plotkin’s Spider and Web was seamless, well-written and a [...]